When is a relationship bad? There are almost always signs when a relationship is going south and when it is just about to turn toxic but you need to be conscious of these before it’s too late.
How you can tell if your relationship really is bad for you and what you should do about it. You don’t have to stay in a relationship that is bad or toxic but if you choose to stay, there are things you can do to change it so that you have an even stronger relationship.
These are the signs that ought to be your first clues that you are in a toxic relationship.
1. Your partner verbally insults you and puts you down when you are with other people. 2. Actions speak louder than words so when your partner says “I love you” does it show? 3. Is your partner trying to control you? Checking your cell phone, wanting to know where you are at all times, even opening up your mail. 4. Your partner tries to make you feel like you are nothing without them or that you are incapable of taking care of yourself. 5. Have you gone so far as to try to change yourself for your partner? How you laugh, do your hair, the way you dress?
When you are around someone who is toxic it can truly make you feel sick, so why does anyone stay in a toxic relationship? What would make someone decide to stay around somebody who seriously makes them feel sick emotionally or sometimes even physically?
Every toxic relationship has a pattern where in the beginning you are on cloud nine but that will quickly be followed by the eruption. What will follow after that is the admission of guilt, sometimes with the assurance it will not occur again but sooner or later the pattern begins all over from the start.
This can continue to go on for years or even decades unless you realize how to deal with it and put a stop to it. The best time to end this nasty cycle is in the beginning before it can have a possibility to become a pattern but you can learn to deal with it even if you are already deep into the cycle.
We all know that in the beginning of a relationship it is at it’s most electrifying and romantic. Once your partner has you where they want you and the pattern begins it may be tough to get out of the relationship.
Time and again when a person is drawn into a toxic relationship they have grown up in a home that was toxic. This will result in their attempting to replicate the patterns that they grew up with without even realizing it. They simply think that this is usual and accept as a way of life. Yet some people just accept as true that happiness is not what they truly deserve and so they are drawn to toxic people. Sometimes it can even be that a person feels that they are taking care of their partner by staying in a bad relationship.
One of the first things you must realize if you are in a toxic relationship is that you do have a choice. Maybe you suffer from low self esteem or you feel that you are miserable but once you understand that you have choices you can take the next step which is to stand up for yourself.
Maybe your partner has made you feel that all of the troubles are your fault and if you really accept as true this it can be very hard for you to walk away or to begin to set new boundaries that can begin to change the relationship.
Often people find that joining a therapy group can help them to decide on whether to get out or try to work things out in the relationship.
Whether you choose to stay or to leave the relationship, you can begin to break the cycle of these toxic patterns. There are people who have actually stayed and were able to mend the relationship and build an even stronger union with their partner.
The fact is that these relationships can be saved but it will take some time and both partners have to be ready to work on saving the relationship. If you are both prepared to do anything it takes, you can find yourself able to connect in a more healthy way.
So, if the response to the question “is your relationship bad” is yes, you have to make a choice as to whether the relationship can be saved or if you should just walk away. You have to be able to walk away if you actually want to work on building a strong relationship whether with your current partner or someone new.
If you are not getting what you need from your partner, you have to let them know what you truly want and make it plain that you are willing to walk away if they are not ready to give it to you. Whether it be support, love, or just honesty, if your partner really wants to make the relationship work, they should be willing to work with you to give you what you need.
Having a healthy relationship works for both partners while in a toxic relationship only one person is getting anything out of the partnership.
You have decide what you in actual fact want, make the decision and go for it. Be strong and know that you have the strength to stand up for yourself and you will make the right decision.
While you first instinct is usually the right one, take the time you need to figure things out and you will be much more likely to do what is best for you.
by Camila Leal/
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