Codependency

The Passing of the Codependency Gauntlet

The Passing of the Codependency Gauntlet
This is an excerpt from the 2nd edition of The Human Magnet Syndrome: Why We Love People Who Hurt Us, which will be published on 12/30/17.  The book is being been completely re-written: 70 pages of new content, reorganized, re-edited. As much as we would like to, we cannot avoid certain indisputable immutable facts of life: We will have to pay taxes, we will get older, we will most likely gain a few pounds, and we will always be connected to our childhood. Sigmund Freud was right, we are, indeed, creatures of our past; affected more by our formative years than by recent events and circumstance...
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Codependency Causes Anger and Resentment: 8 Tips on Anger Management

Codependency Causes Anger and Resentment: 8 Tips on Anger Management
Managing anger is essential to success in work and relationships. Codependents have a lot of anger they don’t know how to manage it effectively. They’re frequently partner with people who contribute less than they do, who break promises and commitments, violate their boundaries, or disappointment or betray them. Symptoms of codependency, such as denial, dependency, lack of boundaries, and dysfunctional communication, contribute to anger. Because of dependency, codependents attempt to control others in order to feel better, rather than to initiate effective action. But when people don’t do what...
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Codependency is Based on Fake Facts

Codependency is Based on Fake Facts
Codependency is based on a lie. Its symptoms develop to cope with the deep, but false and painful belief — that “I’m not worthy of love and respect.” In the chart to the left, core symptoms of codependency are in red, but nearly all the symptoms revolve around shame – the shame that accompanies rejection. This entire system operates beneath our awareness, and until we know it and feel it, we’re caught in its grip. Symptoms of Codependency The Symptoms of codependency are both caused by shame, as explained in Conquering Shame and Codependency. or are defenses to feeling shame are both caused ...
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