Anyone that finds themselves in the dating scene will soon find that there is a specific order of people involved in that scene. This is often considered a pecking order. The process of establishing a pecking order results in clear definitions of who is the top and who is the bottom in situations that occur. For instance, a situation where one person takes control and the other follows that leader would be an example of pecking order. The top is the person that takes control and the bottom follows the leader.
A main component of pecking order revolves around a person’s level of self confidence. Followers most often do not have very much confidence within themselves. Those willing to take control and lead are confident in themselves. They know what they want. They have direction and focus in their lives.
Self confidence is a huge factor in a successful relationship. You need to be confident if you plan on having a meaningful relationship. Confidence is something that is conveyed very clearly to other people. If you are confident in yourself this will radiate from you. You are much more likely to attract a potential mate if you are positive. You are also much more likely to start a conversation with other people and to be open to all of the new opportunities that can potentially present themselves.
At the same time, the bottom people in a relationship have their place also. It is not a bad thing to be a bottom or person that is more reserved. These people are also important within the relationship. Even in a relationship where both people are more confident and sure of themselves, one person is going to end up being the top and more in control of the relationship.
This is a fact of life. It is the way that humans are programmed and how we are meant to react. It is not a reaction that we have any control over. However, we can control which side of the pecking order we are found in. You can work to make yourself more confident and self assured.
In dong this, you will be changing the way that you react to situations and different aspects of life. You will also come across more positively to everyone that you come in contact with. In being more positive you are much more likely to have better, more meaningful relationships that can last for a long time to come.
The first thing that you need to do when making decisions about entering into a relationship is to figure out where your place is within the pecking order. If you are a leader, use that to your advantage. If you are a follower, seek out a leader that you are compatible with.
Two people that are compatible have the best chance of their relationship working out. If you are both the same within the pecking order, there will be conflict and constant struggling between you.