A relationship is never perfect. Everyone faces problems in relationships. The solutions to those problems rest in a couple’s willingness to work together to solve those problems. And yet, if a couple searches in vain for solutions that never seem to work, is it possible that the relationship is turning into an unhealthy relationship? Is it possible to solve these overwhelming problems?
First, examine 6 warning signals of an unhealthy relationship.
1. Excessive Control
Controlling relationships take on many forms. A partner who must win all disputes regardless of the consequences is controlling. Partners who devote all of their attention to the other partner are controlling. A partner who constantly pressures the other to change is controlling. Others who control force a withdrawal from all other friendships and social contacts. In the end, excessive control diminishes self respect and self identity, eliminating the expression of true feelings and passions.
Unhealthy relationships are void of honesty. Secrets become lies, constantly fueling the destructiveness of deception. Deception is manipulation and trickery and dishonesty. If a couple cannot overcome the lies, the relationship is likely to fail.
3. Lack of Support
Support is a measurement of commitment. It means desiring to spend time with one another – and enjoying it. Support means communicating with each other, finding ways to solve individual frustrations and to strengthen the relationship. Without support, there is no commitment. A lack of support intensifies problems in relationships and the relationship overall is at risk.
4. Persistent Anger
Relationship problems become insurmountable when a couple cannot let go of that which should have been forgiven. In a relationship void of forgiveness anger works to destroy mutual respect. Relentless anger is a negative force that fuels resentment and leads to regret. Eventually persistent anger will destroy a relationship, replacing any hope of communication with overwhelming name calling and accusations. Persistent anger destroys compromise. It paves the way for a life without apology.
5. Lack of Individuality
In a lasting relationship, each partner is comfortable with their own individuality. Individuality is about sharing the good and the bad, and working in harmony to strengthen the relationship. When a partner abandons personal individuality and seeks identity only through the other person, the relationship is at risk.
6. Abandoning Trust
Perhaps the strongest signal of an unhealthy relationship is the absence of trust. In order to work, a relationship must be founded on trust for a partner and trust in our own instincts to do the right thing. An abandonment of trust is fueled by insecurity and doubt. Left unchecked, an abandonment of trust will eventually destroy a relationship.
An unhealthy relationship can change for the better, but only with a great deal of patience and commitment. Both partners must be accountable for their actions, and for their willingness to work past their differences. The reality is, more often than not an unhealthy relationship is so destructive that it cannot survive. And rather than devoting the time and frustrations of repairing it, it is usually better for both parties to move away from one another.
Understand and evaluate the signs of an unhealthy relationship. Apply it to your life. Is that relationship enhancing your life, or is it destroying your very being? If it is the latter, you must break away.
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