Relationships

Loving Someone with Depression: Why It’s Not Your Job to Fix Them

Loving Someone with Depression: Why It’s Not Your Job to Fix Them
Loving someone with depression can strip you of your own joy. You can’t save them. Only they can save themselves, it isn’t your fault they’re sad. For most of us, when in a relationship, you want to make your partner happy. In fact, you thrive on being with someone who not only fulfills you but that you make their life better too. Loving someone with depression is not an easy thing. It isn’t just tough on them—it takes a toll on you. We all go through times in our lives where things aren’t so great, we get into a funk, or we just don’t feel happy. But, if you live with someone who can’t seem t...
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When an Out of Control Mindset Hijacks the Steering Wheel

When an Out of Control Mindset Hijacks the Steering Wheel
Whether it’s in the news or our personal lives, we bear witness to people continuing to engage in compulsive, self-defeating behaviors despite the obvious negative or destructive effects. Sometimes it seems like what’s needed is more willpower, moral fiber, or a better strategy to fight temptation when the primitive part of our brains take over. However, in many cases the obstacle to change is that we were never fully on board with giving up these patterns in the first place. But why wouldn’t people who seem to, or should, “know better” be motivated to stop doing something that goes against th...
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How to Communicate in a Relationship: 14 Steps to a Better Love

How to Communicate in a Relationship: 14 Steps to a Better Love
The old saying “communication is key” is not wrong. But it’s a lot easier to tell someone how to communicate in a relationship than to actually do it. Many of us confuse communication with having a conversation. Sure, talking to someone is basic communication, but just because you’re talking doesn’t mean you express your feelings nor does it mean that the other person truly understands what you say. Learning how to communicate in a relationship is what makes it work or where it all falls apart. So, yes, communication is key, but what we really mean is effective communication is key. How to com...
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Book Review: Radical Acceptance: The Secret to Happy, Lasting Love

Book Review: Radical Acceptance: The Secret to Happy, Lasting Love
At the heart of all advice about how to have better relationships, resolve conflict, improve connection, and enhance intimacy is the idea of simply learning to accept others for who they are. Acceptance is, after all, the highest form of love. In her new book, Radical Acceptance: The Secret to Happy, Lasting Love, Andrea Miller, the founder and CEO of YourTango makes the compelling case that acceptance isn’t just good for our relationships — it’s also good for us. Although Miller founded an organization whose mission is to help people love better and connect more meaningfully, her own pe...
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How to Tell if He Loves You: 15 Actions that Reveal His Feelings

How to Tell if He Loves You: 15 Actions that Reveal His Feelings
You won’t always be able to know how to tell if he loves you. Sure, he can say it, but does that make it true? Actions speak louder than words. It’s not always enough to hear a person tell you they love you. They’re just words. Anyone can say them, really. What you really need to know is how to tell if he loves you through his actions. Does he do things that support his words? And what if he hasn’t said them yet? You still want to know how he feels about you even though the words haven’t come out of his mouth. There are a lot of ways to know whether or not a guy loves you just by what he does ...
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12 Signs He Wants to be Exclusive and Committed to Only You

12 Signs He Wants to be Exclusive and Committed to Only You
Knowing the signs he wants to be exclusive isn’t easy. Guys are hard to read and if you try to make it official before he’s ready, it could go bad. I know how hard it can be to start something new with someone and then wonder if they’re in it for the real thing. Because you are. You want to be with them but you’re just not sure they’re feeling the same way yet. That’s why being able to read the signs he wants to be exclusive will come in handy. You won’t have to worry about jumping the gun when it comes to the topic of becoming “official.” We all know how awkward it can be to wrongly assume so...
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8 Small Shifts that Significantly Enhance Your Life

8 Small Shifts that Significantly Enhance Your Life
Sometimes, we need to make big changes in our lives. We need to take a different job. We need to sell our home and downsize. We need to move to a different city. We need to end a relationship. And sometimes the smallest shifts can help. Sometimes adjusting our perspective can have a significant impact. Sometimes adopting a small habit can drastically improve our days. Below are eight habits and perspective-shifters to try, which might even be life-changing. Surround yourself with positive voices. “You become the five voices you are around the most,” said Brooke Schmidt, a marriage and family ...
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Best Lesson to Live by: Surround Yourself with Positive People

Best Lesson to Live by: Surround Yourself with Positive People
If there’s one piece of life advice you should always live by, it’s to surround yourself with positive people. Here’s why it’ll make your life better. You can’t deny that keeping positive people around makes you more positive. It’s like their happy mindset is contagious in the best way possible. The more you’re around them, the more you start emulating their characteristics. This is usually a subconscious thing but you’ll be able to tell by the way your life improves. You’ll notice subtle changes that can only trace back to the people you surround yourself with. And there are many reasons you’...
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Is Sexting Cheating? The Answer You Really Won’t Want to Accept

Is Sexting Cheating? The Answer You Really Won’t Want to Accept
The internet has made cheating a lot easier than it ever used to be. You can send naughty pictures and texts easily. But is sexting cheating? Talking about cheating is a sensitive subject for pretty much everyone. Nobody wants to think about their partner being unfaithful. But sometimes this topic is unavoidable and we need to talk about things like virtual cheating. Is sexting cheating? What about emotional cheating? If they don’t follow through, should it still count? Many people won’t want to hear the answer to these questions but they’re very important to understand in a relationship. In o...
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How to Cope with Shame

How to Cope with Shame
A salesman started seeing psychotherapist Greg Struve, LAC, SEP, because he feared he was getting fired from his current position. The fear was legitimate: He’d been there for almost 18 months—the same time it’d take for him to get fired from previous jobs. Initially, when he’d start a new job, Struve’s client would work incredibly hard. After 6 months, however, he’d become terrified that his boss and coworkers didn’t like him and might even be trying to sabotage him. He’d start ruining these relationships and making major mistakes. And then, inevitably, he’d be fired. Unconscious self-sabotag...
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How to Deal with an Insecure Boyfriend Without the Frustration

How to Deal with an Insecure Boyfriend Without the Frustration
One of the hardest things when dating is having an insecure boyfriend. Knowing how to handle his insecurities can make your relationship a lot better. Anyone can have insecurities. Either they grew up with them or something happened to make them feel self-conscious. You probably have insecurities, too. However, when you have an insecure boyfriend, things can get a little tricky to deal with. Insecurity should never be a deal breaker. If you like someone, you should stay with them regardless. But that doesn’t mean having an insecure boyfriend will be easy. In fact, it can get difficult at times...
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Dealing with Borderline Personality Disorder

Dealing with Borderline Personality Disorder
Those with borderline personality disorder (BPD) suffer from a pervasive fear of abandonment and are often triggered into feeling put down or mistreated. They defend against feelings of abandonment, with rage and anger, and become misunderstood when they’re longing for love. In the heat of the moment, they can send the angry text. They can look like a toddler that gets angry, when they protest as a bid for love. It is important to look at what is behind the actual behavior of a borderline person, rather than react. Most of their behavior is a way to communicate how they feel, but it come...
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Am I Manipulative? 11 Behaviors Showing You Manipulate People

Am I Manipulative? 11 Behaviors Showing You Manipulate People
Am I manipulative? If you ask yourself this question, it’s time to do some soul searching if you have any of these 11 behaviors. Am I manipulative? Admit it or not, at one point we used some mental trick to make another person do something we want. We probably did it for fun at first, but once you feel all clever and powerful from doing it, you’ll start the downward spiral to addiction and start manipulating the people around you. That is, until they find out and then start hating you. Am I manipulative? As you can see, nobody wants to be manipulated and no one wants a manipulative perso...
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How to Scratch the Seven-Year Itch and Rekindle Your Relationship

How to Scratch the Seven-Year Itch and Rekindle Your Relationship
The seven-year itch has become something of a joke, but it is no laughing matter. Statistics show that it is a real thing. So, how do you override it? There is an old phrase called the seven-year itch. It is the magical number that allocates the number of years two people are married before the spark goes out and people are tempted to squelch their temptation with someone other than their significant other. The phrase has been around as long as time. Although it was originally used to describe things irritating like skin rashes, scabies, and STDs, in 1955 good ol’ Marilyn Monroe made the phras...
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Topics You Must Regularly Discuss as a Couple

Topics You Must Regularly Discuss as a Couple
We know that communication is key in a relationship. After all, we aren’t mind readers. If we don’t talk about important topics, we don’t know where we stand. We don’t know where we’re headed. We don’t know what’s inside our partner’s heart. Having meaningful conversations deepens our relationship — and keeps it healthy. By the time most couples arrive at Rebecca Wong’s office, they’ve stopped talking. They don’t share their thoughts or feelings. They don’t feel safe and comfortable doing so. They’ve already constructed tall walls. But it doesn’t have to be this way. Below Wong and...
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Free dating seminar: Science of finding love online. one day only, Eugene, Oregon

Free dating seminar: Science of finding love online. one day only, Eugene, Oregon
Wise Readers, This Saturday, August 26th, at 2:00 p.m., I’ll be teaching a free interactive seminar at the downtown branch of the Eugene Public Library (Eugene, Oregon) about finding love online. Have you ever wanted to write the perfect online profile? Select the best dating sites and apps for yourself? Learn more about who’s online, and whether relationships created via the Interwebs are better or worse? Deal with whether and whom to reach out to, and how much time to spend? Bring your questions and some paper and pens. See you there!       Article from: Love...
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Feeling Smothered: How to Learn to Give Space and Breathe Again

Feeling Smothered: How to Learn to Give Space and Breathe Again
If you are feeling smothered, then speak up. If you don’t get some space, you are going to get to the point where there is no going back. When you are in love, those first few weeks are, well, spectacular. You can’t get enough of each other. You giggle at every little ping of your phone telling you your sweetie says “Hi.” You might even give them their own ring tone. But, what happens when you start feeling smothered? Does that mean the romance is over? Every relationship goes through a natural course of stages. Lust is first, where you can’t get enough of them. The second, a cooli...
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Why Women Pull Away: 12 Reasons Why Girls Run as You Get Closer

Why Women Pull Away: 12 Reasons Why Girls Run as You Get Closer
You’re dating a girl and want to take it to the next level, but do you feel like she’s pulling away? Here’s why women pull away in the first place. This always happens, even to the best of us. We’re hanging out with someone, we start to develop feelings, and just when you think everything’s going great, boom. It ends. Don’t worry, you’re not the only one wondering why women pull away. Sadly, this happens to most of us, even me. I went to Australia for a guy, and he pulled away while I was there, so don’t think it’s so cheery on our side either. So, if you’re dealing with this right now, ...
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When a Narcissist Is Also Codependent

When a Narcissist Is Also Codependent
Writers often distinguish narcissists and codependents as opposites, but surprisingly, though their outward behavior may differ, they share many psychological traits. In fact, narcissists exhibit core codependent symptoms of shame, denial, control, dependency (unconscious), and dysfunctional communication and boundaries, all leading to intimacy problems. One study showed a significant correlation between narcissism and codependency. Although most narcissists can be classified as codependent, but the reverse isn’t true — most codependents aren’t narcissists. They don’t exhibit common trai...
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Relationship Therapy: 25 Clues to Know If It’ll Help Your Romance

Relationship Therapy: 25 Clues to Know If It’ll Help Your Romance
Knowing if you and your partner need relationship therapy can be tricky. These 25 signs help you decide if it’s time to seek professional help. Admitting that your relationship might be on the rocks is not easy. However, recognizing what it is and wanting to fight for it is the only way to save it. Relationship therapy can provide a lot of help in a struggling relationship. If you ignore your relationship problems and bury them, the likelihood is you’ll only make things worse, argue more, and become more miserable. When you do try to finally sort it out, it will be too late and feel like the o...
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