Marriage

Marriage

The Past: Sex

The Past: Sex
Sex has a way of getting deep into our minds and hearts. We recall sexual things more easily and more vividly than most other memories. This means our sexual past has more power to mess us up than many other things from our past. One of the big ways our sexual past affects us is that it created our sexual preferences. The things that first aroused and pleasured us tend to stick with us. For example, I grew up in the era of tube tops*, and my first contact with a girl’s breasts was after she had pulled her tube top down for me. So for me, tube tops are inherently sexy. If Lori walked in ...
Read More

Hangry Spouses Lash Out More

Hangry Spouses Lash Out More
It’s a known fact that conflict will happen in marriage. You and your spouse are going to disagree, argue, and perhaps even fight. But did you know there’s a way to possibly curb the severity of these disagreements? You’ve heard the old adage “don’t go to bed angry” but it may also be important to eat a snack before going to bed, especially if you’re planning to discuss any tense subjects on the way. One issue with tackling tough issues in married life towards the end of the day is self-control is a finite resource. If you or your spouse have spent you...
Read More

Role Play, Movie Sex, and More Questions…Answered

Role Play, Movie Sex, and More Questions…Answered
It’s time for another Sex Chat for Christian Wives podcast episode. This one is the first time my schedule allowed me to participate in answering listener questions. Here’s what we tackled this time around: Does anyone really have sex like they do in the movies? Is role play okay in a Christian marriage, even if it involves imagining something that would be wrong to do in real life? How can an older couple maintain sexual intimacy? Is it sexual when my husband says he enjoys looking at other women’s feet? Interesting stuff, right? This podcast has become one of my favorite activi...
Read More

If marriage is nothing like you thought it would be

If marriage is nothing like you thought it would be
The following is an excerpt from Naked Marriage I believe a majority of married couples have a false notion of what marriage truly is, and those rose-colored assumptions tend to heighten expectations to such unrealistic levels that these couples often find themselves in predicament’s like Amy and Daniel’s. Because they don’t understand what marriage is and could be, they hide from each other. To keep the peace, they continue the charades, each spouse reluctantly believing, “I guess this is just how it’s supposed to be.” Consequently, they refuse to get naked with each other in all of th...
Read More

Delight In Your Wife

Delight In Your Wife
The other day Lori told me how wonderful it is for a woman to feel her husband delights in her. And yes, this was said in the context of “I love how you delight in me.” “Delight” is not a word I would generally use for myself, but yes I do delight in my wife, and yes, my actions show that. Apparently, this is a good thing. Do you delight in your wife? Links may be monetised Image Credit: © tashatuvango | stock.adobe.com Shop Amazon ♦ Shop to give links page We’re donation supported Thanks for your help! Where we’re going Contact us about speaking ...
Read More

How to Change Up Your At-Home Date Night for Lasting Love

How to Change Up Your At-Home Date Night for Lasting Love
Editor’s Note: This is a guest post from Nancy DeVault of DateNightGuide.com. Life is full of responsibilities ─ work, kids, etc. ─ which can distract couples from making each other a priority. Consequently, spouses who don’t spend quality time together risk losing their connection and/or feeling less satisfied in their marriage. Committing to a routine date night can be a small change with big relationship benefits! In fact, the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia recently published the Date Night Opportunity study, which found that regular date nights achieved high...
Read More

Challenge Meanings

Challenge Meanings
As the most evolved species on the planet, humans are granted the ability to experience much more in this life than a genetic drive to find food, find a mate, and procreate for species survival. Humans have the ability to make choices. To be the masters of their own fate. You see it everyday. People who make good decisions and those that make bad ones. There are many articles on Simple Marriage that discuss how emotions and reactions can impact decisions. I am not advocating that decisions in life be devoid of emotion, our emotions are another aspect that distinguish us as humans. I am however...
Read More

Kindness: ESPECIALLY When It’s Not Easy

Kindness: ESPECIALLY When It’s Not Easy
In Paul’s 1 Corinthians 13 treatise on love, we’re told love is kind. We are NOT told love is kind when it’s easy or beneficial. Neither are we told love is less kind when it knows it’s kindness will be ignored or attacked. Love is kind, period. It’s easy to be kind when things are going well. When the bills are paid and there is money left, when the kids are doing well, when you enjoy spending time with your wife, and when sex happens more days than it does not. But when money is tight, the kids are a mess, you look for ways to escape being in the same room as y...
Read More

How To Combat Distraction, Routine And Busyness

How To Combat Distraction, Routine And Busyness
Reposted from the archives. Life is full of distraction. Everywhere you look something’s vying for your attention. Take your kids to school, ride the train to work, log onto the Internet and you’ll see things aimed at taking your money, focus, and time. One thing about a world full of attention clutter, our brain can become numb to it so we get to where we don’t even see it. But don’t kid yourself, there’s a drawback to this numbness. It also means we don’t really experience the other things in our life. Human nature seems to crave routine and structure. One...
Read More

5 Communication Games Guaranteed to Bring You Closer

5 Communication Games Guaranteed to Bring You Closer
Play Your Way To Better Communication… “Let’s talk.” Those words can stop a partner dead in their tracks. The idea of “working on our communication” is usually met with eye rolls, shrugs or even denials of a problem. The first reaction is often, “We talk. We talk about the kids. We talk about the house. I asked you about your day.” You talk. But do you communicate? If you had to stop and think about that, read on because it may be the most important thing you can do for your relationship. Communication Is More than Talking Talking is simply sharing information using words. It is a wa...
Read More

5 Must See TED Talks for Your Marriage

In today’s world there are many resources that will help your marriage. I’m biased but Simple Marriage and Sexy Marriage Radio are among the best. But there are also so must-see TED talks worth your time. In no particular order: Yann Dall’Aglio’s “Love — you’re doing it wrong.” Dall’Aglio, a French philosopher and author says love is the desire of being desired. But in a world that often favors the self over others, how can people find the tenderness and connection they crave? It may be easier than you think: “For a couple who is no longer ...
Read More

Friday Flashback: Being True to Yourself is Good for Her

Friday Flashback: Being True to Yourself is Good for Her
While this study was done on college age dating couples, some of the findings are certainly relevant to a wider group – including married folks of all ages.  For example: “Overall, the study found that both men and women who reported being more true to themselves also behaved in more intimate and less destructive ways with their partner, and that led to them feeling their relationship was more positive. In addition, they also reported greater personal well-being.” and “Men who were more true to themselves had partners who showed more healthy relationship behaviors.  How...
Read More

Too Busy?

Too Busy?
Meet the All-American family: a house in the suburbs, nice cars, 2.5 kids, both parents working, kids on a team for soccer, baseball, dance, quite a bit of debt on credit cards, a mortgage, and routine, vanilla sex once a week (usually). Or put another way, schedules run the show. Perhaps you don’t consider yourself the All-American family. Okay. How do you usually answer this question: “So, how are things?” My guess is the simple reply … “busy.” If your schedule is jammed packed and runs the show, have you ever stopped and wondered if you’re too busy for your marriage? If your answer ...
Read More

Divorce: The Middle Ground

Divorce: The Middle Ground
I find a lot of Christians fall into one of two extremes on divorce: 1) It’s always sin, never allowed, or 2) It’s sad but often unavoidable and not really a big deal. The first camp is far more vocal. I know leaders of major ministries who say the Bible makes no allowances for divorce, and they can explain away the clear biblical passages to the contrary. One even goes so far as to say if one or both people have remarried it’s God’s will for them to divorce their new spouse (to whom they are not really married) and remarry each other. The other camp is far less likely to write or speak abou...
Read More

Discover Your Hidden Super Power

Discover Your Hidden Super Power
I’ll be honest – Many times as husbands, we can be wimps. In fact, if you’re like me, there are times when you can play the wimpy, victim role very well. This is a classic Nice Guy trait. You hear it in what we say to ourselves and others: “It’s just not fair.” “How come she always gets her way?” “If they would just …” The Nice Guy paradigm begins in childhood as a survival mechanism. In order to get their love and attention needs met they develop this belief; “If I’m good and do what’s right, I’ll be loved, get my needs met, and have a problem free life.“ The problem ...
Read More

Unplug This Holiday And Plug Into Marriage

Unplug This Holiday And Plug Into Marriage
There are many things of which a wise man might wish to be ignorant.~Ralph Waldo Emerson If you are like me, you spent a good deal of your day with your computer on, Gmail (or whatever email service you use) running in the background, several browser screens going throughout the day, as well as a few other programs thrown in for good measure. To top it off your phone is placed right next to your laptop. Yet, even with all this “work” open, I can waste a day with the best of them. Oh, I almost forgot to mention that I will also have music playing and/or the TV on as well. I am thor...
Read More

Churches Can Save Marriages

Churches Can Save Marriages
I’m going to tell you the story of Jack and Jill. (Not their real names, and they don’t live on a hill). On our RV trip (fall-2015 to summer-2016) we visited the church Jack and Jill attend. After the service during a time of sharing, Jack seemed eager to be the first to speak. He said he wanted to let everyone know “we are back in one house” – which was well received. He said they had a long way to go, and asked for continued prayer. We later learned this couple had been living apart for some time while they both dealt with their own issues.  During our last tri...
Read More

Check out your landscape

If you are at all like me, there are times in life when I take a break a examine the landscape of my life. This used to not happen too often because, I’m afraid to admit, I was scared to find the answer. What if all I was working towards wound up being meaningless? What if I found out I was nothing more than a handy-man for my family? Only being kept around because I could fix things? Or help buy things? Or take care of the kids so my wife could go out with her girlfriends? These are sobering questions to ask yourself – but even scarier to seek their answers. I want to let you in o...
Read More

Relax! How A Few Minutes Of ‘Me Time’ Can Make You A Better Wife

Relax! How A Few Minutes Of ‘Me Time’ Can Make You A Better Wife
When you’re stressed and in a constant battle with your to-do list, the last thing on your mind is your relationships. After all, you have to finish the deadline for work, get the kids homework done, clean up the dog’s war with the pillows, and attempt to make lasagna for dinner tonight from scratch. However, in the midst of it all and other things that life seems to continually throw at us, is our partner. Despite the fact that they so obviously want to be with us – after all, they married us, sometimes we can forget the fundamental aspects of being in a relationship. That is why we sho...
Read More