Time is a beautiful thing—it teaches us through our past experiences. It makes us wiser with each passing minute and every ageing year. And as we age, we learn to invest—in things, people and moments that will enrich our lives; complete us as individuals and fulfill our larger purposes of life. We learn to let go of short-term plans; however inviting they might be and look at the bigger picture, however time-taking that might be. This translates into the way we forge relationships, too. We want permanence, stability and consistency; that’s what makes us human. And so, if we’re with a partner who don’t seem to be adding to a future we want to build together, we learn to cut our losses, hold our heads high and walk out in search of something promising and long-lasting.
But, how do you know that the woman you are with at the moment is the one you could potentiallyt end up with? How do you tell if the woman you’re with right now feels like this could be a long-lasting and steady relationship? How do you tell if she’s in it for keeps or will be walking out the door at the first sign of trouble, however trivial it might be? While we can’t always be sure of anything—life is uncertain like that—there are a few signs that could help us spot a keeper from a runner, in the long scheme of things.
1. When She Spends All Her Free Time With You
There are two kinds of women—one, who either works and spends the rest of their time (however little that might be) with herself; another, who socializes, a lot, after work (sometimes, even during work). And in either case, you can tell when a girl has been spending almost all of her time off with you. When that happens, you can be rest assured that she’s doing it out of genuine interest in you. She wants to spend that time with you; even if it doesn’t amount to fancy and romantic dates, or making out.
2. When She Doesn’t Care About “Dates”
It doesn’t matter if you’re just sitting across each other and talking about everything and nothing; it doesn’t matter if you’ve ordered wine, or water; dessert or hotdogs; heck, it doesn’t matter if you’ve even ordered or not. The point is nothing else matters aside from the fact that it’s just you and her; everything else is just secondary, complimentary and, or inconsequential.
3. When She’s Stopped Hanging Out With Others
Let me rephrase that. She’s kind of popular, people know her; she’s got a large circle of influence and people who would like to hang out with her more. But, she’s stopped hanging out with most others; especially the men. The reason is simple: She’s done with meaningless interactions with people who don’t add or subtract any meaning to or from her life; she’s stopped wasting time on men who would at some point or the other hit on anything that walks past them. She’s done with the phonies and the pastimes at cafes and clubs and hanging out with namesakes simply because she has found something much more meaningful in you.
4. When Everything You Say Affects Her
I’m not just talking about a certain colour that you mentioned looked good on her, or that you prefer a certain kind of food. I’m talking about the profoundness with which your words impact her entire being to the extent that she tweaks things about her life—the mindset, the people, the ideology and the perceptions—for the better.
5. When She’s Comfortable In Silences
It’s very rare for a woman to find comfort and solace in silence; especially when it’s around and with someone else. We either talk too much just so we can fill the empty spaces so the silence doesn’t creep in and get awkward, or we just don’t talk at all because we don’t really know what to say, out of concern that we might trigger you off. But, ever so rarely, you’ll find a girl, who talks and is, at the same time, quiet in your presence, not because of the concern, or awkwardness, or the loss of words; but, because the level of comfort that she feels with you is so great that she doesn’t always need words to express herself to you; you get it—with or without it. That silence is her contentment and solace.
6. When Conversations Drift Into The Future
It’s not as pronounced as making plans to settle down. It’s about things as small as wanting a certain element in your dream house in the future. When she reveals her grand plans about what she wants her future to look like, to you, that’s when you know she means to stick on. She’ll tell you about the kind of home she wants to live in; the kind of things she wants to do; the kids she plans to have, however vague her ideas may be, the kind of furnishing and tapestry she’d like. And most importantly, the kind of relationships she wants in her life in the future. If there’s a hint of a ‘we’ in her plans, if there’s even a hint of you being in that future—in a role that is yet to take shape—she means to stick on.
7. When She Shares Things With You
Her food; her prized collections—books, music, keepsakes, postcards, or her collection of movies; these could be anything—her stories, however personal and delicate they might be, and her memories—of things and people that were. When she shares things and information with you that lets you in on the kind of person she really is, deep down, that most others might not even know about, that’s when you know she doesn’t just plan to stay for a day, a night, a week, or even a month. She’s making herself vulnerable to you by sharing with you things that are incredibly precious to her, even if it might not seem like that to you.
8. You Know The People In Her Life
She’s told you about her parents—which of them she’s closer to—her siblings and why they annoy her so much and yet, she’d probably give them the world, anyway. She’s told you about her closest cousins and friends. Maybe you’ve even met one or two of them out of sheer incidence only because the two of you have ended up spending so much time together.
9. When She Factors You In
Aside from the fact that the two of you invariably end up spending copious amounts of time together, you will notice how she makes time for you—be it right after work, or on the weekends, or even if it’s just five minutes before and after, or during her day. You’ve become an important part of her daily life and so, she would rather have even a minute in a day with you—if that’s all there is to spare—than not have you in her day at all. She would move mountains (in this case, schedules and timings) to spend some amount of time with you even if it means delaying other things. She’s looking at the bigger picture and, guess what, you’re in it.
10. When She’s Ridiculously Honest With You
And sometimes, she doesn’t even make sense because she really is just talking it out—blurting it out as soon as the thought even formulates itself in her brain. You’re literally the first person who’s hearing her say it most times. At other times, she’s telling you things she’s never told anyone before, or expressing herself the way she hasn’t ever before. She feels comfortable enough to be her honest and open self with you—childish, innocent, idiotic, frustrating and stupid as it gets!
Article from: RELATIONSHIPS, by Dessidre Fleming
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